Bipolar Research Essay

Hey guys! Here is the 1st paragraph of my research essay. Please give me some feed back! Thanks!

Bipolar disorder is a mental illness of the brain that causes extreme fluctuations in moods often causing the person to swing from extreme highs to lows. The high moods are known as mania or manic depressive which are then followed by extreme lows, known as major depressive. Mania usually causes the person to have increased energy, creativity and confidence that can lead to exaggerated self-esteem and irritability. When a person is manic they may not be aware that anything is wrong and become much more physically active, talkative and distractive, and show a reduced need for sleep (Mood Disorders Society of Canada, 2009). Hypomania can also occur, which is a milder form of mania that has less intense symptoms and causes less impairment. Mania is then followed by a depression episode that makes them feel the opposite as they did during the manic episode. Depression causes the person to feel empty, lonely and sad. They lose interest in things they once enjoyed, including sex and sometimes begin thinking about death and/or suicide (Nation Institute of Mental Health, 2008). Studies have suggested that bipolar disorder is caused from chemical imbalances in the brain that cause serotonin receptors and serotonin transporters to function abnormally [NIMH, 2001]. People who suffer from this disease tend to have difficulty going about a normal life and sometimes cannot carry out essential daily activities without treatment.

I think the paragraph is really good. I like the flow, your citations look great.

One suggestion that I would make is that your first sentence seems a bit long. Read it out loud to yourself and if you have to take a breath, I believe that means it is a run-on. Try out my suggesting below. I think you’re off to a wonderful start and I would like to read more, so keep on posting. Thanks!


Bipolar disorder is a mental illness of the brain. It causes extreme fluctuations in moods, often causing the person to swing from extreme highs to lows.

I really liked the way you started the paragraph. Gave me insight of how I should reframe mine. Good work.
Maureen

I read it in class, it was great! Good job Ryan! don't forget its due tomorrow!

Ryan i think its good so far, interesting topic ive done research on it before and i think its very good info to kno