World Hunger

Go down

What are your thoughts on this opening paragraph?

0% 0% 
[ 0 ]
100% 100% 
[ 2 ]
0% 0% 
[ 0 ]
0% 0% 
[ 0 ]
0% 0% 
[ 0 ]
 
Total Votes : 2

World Hunger

Post  julia4657 on Wed Dec 01, 2010 10:55 pm

Hunger has affected millions of people in the third world. We have all seen pictures of children with bloated stomachs, and thin bodies. Some images so touching that we would rather change the channel on the television set. These are people who are starving with little or nothing to eat. They live in countries which are unable to provide for their people, such as China, Asia and Africa. Why are people in the poorest nations hungry, when people in the industrialized nations have more food than they need?

julia4657

Posts : 3
Join date : 2010-09-16
Age : 62
Location : North York

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: World Hunger

Post  Av6364 on Fri Dec 03, 2010 2:53 pm

This is a really good introduction! You just miss some words in there and it has some mechanical errors. Hint: missing the word are and one sentence is fine without a comma. Perhaps missing the word food, but that is debatable.

Av6364

Posts : 17
Join date : 2010-09-15

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum